It's All About Quinn
Brad, Quinn, and I are so fortunate to have so many great friends and wonderful family who have stepped up to help us out so far. My mom was here until Thursday and let me just tell you, I cried like a baby when I realized that it was time for her to leave. It's not that she was parenting for me or that I was able to just sit and do nothing, but rather she was always there to fill in the missing pieces of whatever I was doing. She allowed me to be able to parent and to try to find my groove while never worrying about food, keeping the house clean, being able to take a shower, or being alone and overly emotional. She thought of all the little things that would make my life easier for instance, I woke up the first night to feed Quinn and went out to the couch to find a nursing station all set up for me complete with pillow, blanket, burp cloth, and a HUGE cup of water. Sure, I could have scrounged around and found all those things at 1am, but she had it all set for me. It was the little things like that that really made the world of difference. It was teaching me how to be a more organized mother without ever criticizing but rather by doing. It was amazing. In fact, I'm crying right now thinking about how she's gone. I hate that she lives so far away. She truly is my best friend and greatest role model. Shoot, I hope I can convince her to move down here to beautiful Northwest Arkansas soon. If I can't, maybe Quinn can.
So yes, Mom left on Thursday and the first thing I did was take Quinn out for a run to get some endorphins. Exercise has been my saving grace throughout my pregnancy with Quinn and has continued to help regulate my hormone levels post-partum. We had a good day that Thursday having lunch with Daddy, shopping a bit, and napping a lot! If it wasn't hard enough that Mom left on Thursday, Brad left on Friday to go to our friends Jeff and Lisa's wedding in Sonoma Valley, California. I have been a single mother since about 6am Friday when Brad left for his workout, work, and the airport. Yes, we're doing fine here, but it is absolutely exhausting being on call all the time with no relief. My mom was right, it's a new kind of exhaustion. Who would have ever thought you could sleep for 8 hours and be so tired (granted it's sleep accumulated in 1.5 to 2 hour increments)?
Friends have been my saving grace while Brad's been gone calling, texting, bringing over meals, inviting us over, and coming over to go for walks with us. I have honestly been doing well, but there is no such thing as routine in our day right now. Quinn is growing and seems to be eating every 1.5-2 hours meaning I can't really make any plans (we tried this morning leaving both of us in tears) and it seems that whenever I'm the most tired, something goes wrong like him peeing his cradle, co-sleeper, and my bed all in a matter of the same hour!?!??! How can anyone so small have so much urine in them? But whenver I get frustrated there's that sweet little face looking up at me in awe, cooing, smiling, and nestling into my chest in pure peace and comfort. How can I possibly be frustrated with such a sweet little boy there reminding me what life is really all about -- enjoying every moment and remembering that this time too shall pass whether I want it to or not.
A few pics from the past week:
First Pontoon Ride